Saturday, May 22, 2004
Good morning, gentle readers. I have not posted for quite some time. Where I come from we call that sheer unadulterated laziness; but this morning I have news...and it ain't good.
Mom is coming home.
Before you all start celebrating, you need to understand: this is not a happy event. Mom is coming home because she has finally gotten tired of fighting a losing battle and this is where she wants to be. All her treatments have ceased, and she is already weaker and more tired than ever before. Arrangements have been made to have hospice professionals in to care for her, but they will not be here full time, so Phyl is taking a leave of absence to watch over her as well. Mom will eventually lapse into the coma I have mentioned in earlier posts...and she will not wake up.
The most optimistic guess about her life span is maybe three weeks. I myself think less than two. Ten days.
In other news, yesterday I received a letter from USDA informing me that I am--so far--eligible to assume the loan on AF&PP, but that I will need to send them $30 so they can get my full credit report. In other words, it isn't a done deal yet and there aren't any guarantees it will be.
I've already said this but I'll say it again: if I do get AF&PP, I hope that the best of Mom's spirit will remain here. I could always use the company.
Mom is coming home.
Before you all start celebrating, you need to understand: this is not a happy event. Mom is coming home because she has finally gotten tired of fighting a losing battle and this is where she wants to be. All her treatments have ceased, and she is already weaker and more tired than ever before. Arrangements have been made to have hospice professionals in to care for her, but they will not be here full time, so Phyl is taking a leave of absence to watch over her as well. Mom will eventually lapse into the coma I have mentioned in earlier posts...and she will not wake up.
The most optimistic guess about her life span is maybe three weeks. I myself think less than two. Ten days.
In other news, yesterday I received a letter from USDA informing me that I am--so far--eligible to assume the loan on AF&PP, but that I will need to send them $30 so they can get my full credit report. In other words, it isn't a done deal yet and there aren't any guarantees it will be.
I've already said this but I'll say it again: if I do get AF&PP, I hope that the best of Mom's spirit will remain here. I could always use the company.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Good morning, gentle readers. l spent yesterday evening at the hospital; Mom is back on the cancer ward. Some idiot at the nursing home she'd been farmed out to yanked a feeding tube out of her stomach, then proceeded to shove it back in too far, and she spent several hours yesterday in pain before they took her in. After tests, the doctor reported that her colon hadn't been punctured, but the tube had been pushed in so far that it was causing a fluid backup and painful swelling. Part of this was because of the solid food diet the nursing home had been giving her; her system is no longer used to solid food, and she'd eaten a big breakfast yesterday morning. Turns out she may not have been supposed to receive solid food after all, but the "health professionals" at the nursing home didn't pay attention to that. Hello, boys and girls! Can you say "lawsuit?" So Mom will stay at the hospital for the weekend at least, and she said last night that she does not want to go back to that home again. That means she'll either stay there, where she can get real medical care, or be sent to another facility once they've taken care of her current problem. l myself am glad she's there, and not just because of the more attractive nurses. See, two of my older brothers--Mike, who is now dead, and Alex, who's in another nursing home--both spent time in that same nursing home Mom's been in most of the week, and they didn't exactly give the place glowing reviews (not that Alex would have, anyway; he's a racist, and that place is largely staffed by black people; he was there to rehab after his first stroke, though not for long, and l'm certain that the real reason his stay was cut short was because he wouldn't--not couldn't, but wouldn't--keep his opinion of African-Americans to himself). But Mom has been so anxious to come home that she let herself be sent there anyway. She saw it as a stepping stone, one step closer to AF&PP. Now she's back in the hospital, and l wonder if she'll ever leave it again.
My older brother Dan was also there last night; Phyllis called him at his job to ask him to be there. We don't see a lot of him, in spite of the fact that he doesn't live all that far away, in Cleveland, MO. This is because he spends most of his waking hours working his ass off. He hasn't been in to see Mom but a couple of times, but both times have been important...times when nobody else could have been there. So while Phyl thinks he could show up a lot more--and l agree he could--l don't hold it against him that he hasn't. As l said, we don't see a lot of him, but we get along all right when l do. l have a certain measure of pride for him. For a few years, he decided he wanted to be in a rock band, and he did it, joining a sorta-metal outfit called Duz It Madder. Yeah, he thought it was a stupid name too, but he played a bunch of gigs, and even recorded several song with the band, two of which he wrote. They appeared on some compilation CDs that were released by a now-defunct recording studio/record label called Inferno Records. l got to see him play live twice, once at an Inferno CD release party (where l also met a girl named Teresa who happened to be from Nashvlle; scared the crap out of me, but fortunately she was drunk, so l consider that a narrow escape), and once on stage at the also now-defunct but then-legendary Lone Star Saloon in Westport. But it became impractical, because he'd play a show at some obscure place out in the country somewhere, maybe get paid five bucks after the bar owner took out what the band drank up, and get home by 3AM, after which he'd have to get up early for work the next morning. lt began to take a toll, and he quit. One of these days l might ask him if he ever wonders what might have been.
My older brother Dan was also there last night; Phyllis called him at his job to ask him to be there. We don't see a lot of him, in spite of the fact that he doesn't live all that far away, in Cleveland, MO. This is because he spends most of his waking hours working his ass off. He hasn't been in to see Mom but a couple of times, but both times have been important...times when nobody else could have been there. So while Phyl thinks he could show up a lot more--and l agree he could--l don't hold it against him that he hasn't. As l said, we don't see a lot of him, but we get along all right when l do. l have a certain measure of pride for him. For a few years, he decided he wanted to be in a rock band, and he did it, joining a sorta-metal outfit called Duz It Madder. Yeah, he thought it was a stupid name too, but he played a bunch of gigs, and even recorded several song with the band, two of which he wrote. They appeared on some compilation CDs that were released by a now-defunct recording studio/record label called Inferno Records. l got to see him play live twice, once at an Inferno CD release party (where l also met a girl named Teresa who happened to be from Nashvlle; scared the crap out of me, but fortunately she was drunk, so l consider that a narrow escape), and once on stage at the also now-defunct but then-legendary Lone Star Saloon in Westport. But it became impractical, because he'd play a show at some obscure place out in the country somewhere, maybe get paid five bucks after the bar owner took out what the band drank up, and get home by 3AM, after which he'd have to get up early for work the next morning. lt began to take a toll, and he quit. One of these days l might ask him if he ever wonders what might have been.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Good evening, gentle readers. So is anyone as indifferent to tomorrow night's broadcast of the final episode of Friends as l am?
That mild query is going to get me in trouble with a few folks, l have no doubt. But what do you expect? l've never paid much attention to any program on "MUST SEE TV" as it is. Now, l always thought that the theme song of Friends was a catchy little pop tune, but beyond that, the only thing l have to say about the show was that l found the whole "will Ross and Rachel ever hook up" story line to be the highest grade of bullshit. (Speaking of that, does anyone remember that back in the '90's bars used to have "Friends Nights" in which capacity crowds turned up to watch every episode? When NBC finally aired the episode in which R&R finally play tonsil hockey, all l could think was that all across the country, bars were full of women watching that and sighing over how romantic it all was...while the men were thinking "l'm gonna get laid tonight!" As for Frasier and ER--two of the other three shows that made MSTV the 800-pound gorilla of Nielsen ratings--well, l thought Jane Leeves did a nice lingerie pictorial for either Stuff or Maxim, and l think l can safely say that l've never given that doctor show as much as a look even in reruns. The third of those MSTV shows--Will and Grace--demonstrated, at least for me, that Debra Messing figured out where the real money was at, because for those who won't remember, ABC aired for one season a clever little show called Prey, in which a pre-Grace Messing played a scientist who discovered that the next step in human evolution had arrived...and that they did not want to share the planet with us. ABC suicidally ran it on Thursday nights, as if they wanted to make sure an interesting idea would not reach the millions of 18-34 year olds who were busy wishing their lives were like those of Ross, Phoebe, Monica, Joey, Chandler, and Rache. So after a season of getting destroyed in the ratings, Messing jumped over to NBC and starred in a show that was a direct ripoff of Love, Sidney. As if that were not enough, ABC also used to run another brillaint series on Thursdays callled Vengeance Unlimited. lt starred Michael Madsen as a mysterious character by the name of Mr. Chapel, who had a business he called Vengeance Unlimited. lf somebody had done wrong to you and you couldn't do something about it for yourself, Mr. Chapel would come to you and offer to get the offender back for you. His price: one million dollars...or if you didn't happen to have a mil handy, you could owe him a favor. Mr. Chapel had lots of people who owed him favors. The finest episode to air had Mr. Chapel trying to get justice for a young woman who had been raped by an Army lieutenant. Throughout the episode, we saw panels that described the five stages rape victims go through...and we saw the victiim going through the first four of those stages: fear, anger, denial, shock (l'm guessing about one of those, l only saw the episode once, and it's been several years). At the end, after Mr. Chapel had gotten the lieutenant sent to Leavenworth for his crime, we saw the ex-officer taking his first prison shower when five big, mean inmates walked around the corner, grinning. After which the final panel describing the fifth stage was revealed: Depression. That may have been the last episode to air, because l don't remember seeing another one afterward. And it was a damn shame, because both shows had more possibilities in a single episode than an entire season of anything dished up on MSTV; both were more imaginative, both had compelling characters that you wanted to learn more about, both left you wanting to know what would happen next; and instead of being given time to find an audience they were dumped into the prime time equivalent of Gallipoli by a network that apparently didn't know what to do with them. And right now l find that my brain cell has become dangerously taxed again, so l'm going to be forced to shut down before l burn out...sort of like a fresh idea for a TV series.
That mild query is going to get me in trouble with a few folks, l have no doubt. But what do you expect? l've never paid much attention to any program on "MUST SEE TV" as it is. Now, l always thought that the theme song of Friends was a catchy little pop tune, but beyond that, the only thing l have to say about the show was that l found the whole "will Ross and Rachel ever hook up" story line to be the highest grade of bullshit. (Speaking of that, does anyone remember that back in the '90's bars used to have "Friends Nights" in which capacity crowds turned up to watch every episode? When NBC finally aired the episode in which R&R finally play tonsil hockey, all l could think was that all across the country, bars were full of women watching that and sighing over how romantic it all was...while the men were thinking "l'm gonna get laid tonight!" As for Frasier and ER--two of the other three shows that made MSTV the 800-pound gorilla of Nielsen ratings--well, l thought Jane Leeves did a nice lingerie pictorial for either Stuff or Maxim, and l think l can safely say that l've never given that doctor show as much as a look even in reruns. The third of those MSTV shows--Will and Grace--demonstrated, at least for me, that Debra Messing figured out where the real money was at, because for those who won't remember, ABC aired for one season a clever little show called Prey, in which a pre-Grace Messing played a scientist who discovered that the next step in human evolution had arrived...and that they did not want to share the planet with us. ABC suicidally ran it on Thursday nights, as if they wanted to make sure an interesting idea would not reach the millions of 18-34 year olds who were busy wishing their lives were like those of Ross, Phoebe, Monica, Joey, Chandler, and Rache. So after a season of getting destroyed in the ratings, Messing jumped over to NBC and starred in a show that was a direct ripoff of Love, Sidney. As if that were not enough, ABC also used to run another brillaint series on Thursdays callled Vengeance Unlimited. lt starred Michael Madsen as a mysterious character by the name of Mr. Chapel, who had a business he called Vengeance Unlimited. lf somebody had done wrong to you and you couldn't do something about it for yourself, Mr. Chapel would come to you and offer to get the offender back for you. His price: one million dollars...or if you didn't happen to have a mil handy, you could owe him a favor. Mr. Chapel had lots of people who owed him favors. The finest episode to air had Mr. Chapel trying to get justice for a young woman who had been raped by an Army lieutenant. Throughout the episode, we saw panels that described the five stages rape victims go through...and we saw the victiim going through the first four of those stages: fear, anger, denial, shock (l'm guessing about one of those, l only saw the episode once, and it's been several years). At the end, after Mr. Chapel had gotten the lieutenant sent to Leavenworth for his crime, we saw the ex-officer taking his first prison shower when five big, mean inmates walked around the corner, grinning. After which the final panel describing the fifth stage was revealed: Depression. That may have been the last episode to air, because l don't remember seeing another one afterward. And it was a damn shame, because both shows had more possibilities in a single episode than an entire season of anything dished up on MSTV; both were more imaginative, both had compelling characters that you wanted to learn more about, both left you wanting to know what would happen next; and instead of being given time to find an audience they were dumped into the prime time equivalent of Gallipoli by a network that apparently didn't know what to do with them. And right now l find that my brain cell has become dangerously taxed again, so l'm going to be forced to shut down before l burn out...sort of like a fresh idea for a TV series.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Good evening, gentle readers. l've been home alone the last couple of nights, because Phyl is in Boston for a training seminar related to her job at the FAA; she won't be back until Friday night. Last night l finally managed to get around to mowing the yard for the first time since moving into AF&PP. Bought the mower Saturday, but just dragged my ass on it until Sunday afternoon, and then had to forget about it because just as l had rolled the mower out of the garage rain begain to fall, and it would have been a waste of time to try to cut the grass once it was wet. Before last night, the people who sold AF&PP to us had taken care of it, for a fee. That wasn't going to happen this year, so l was forced to find a mower of my own to do it. Which is fine, l used to work for lawn services as a kid, so it isn't as if i've never done it before, just not for a very long time. So last night l gave the yard a quick cut. This is good for several reasons:
a)l'm still able to push a mower in a straight line;
b)l managed to not make the yard look too awful;
c)The obnoxious neighbor next door isn't going to be bothering me about lettting him use his huge lawn tractor on my yard any more.
l never got around to seeing Mom on Sunday, but l have made it over to see her the last couple of nights. She's a little frustrated because she's in a huge hurry to come home, and she thinks won't be sent here for at least another week. She is being fed a solid food diet, but she said they'd probably put her back on the lV feed overnight. She wasn't able to eat much of the dinner they brought her tonight; she said she was feeling a little nauseated tonight. Food hasn't been of interest to her much these last few weeks, so l'm not surprised. She is able to walk a little, assisted, from her bed to the door of her room and back, which l'd guess to be about 40 feet, so she is making some progress in that area, but she is lonely for her children, and all she has is me right now since my siblings are either dead, incapacitated, or in another part of the country. That puts a lot of responsibility on me to make sure she hasn't been forgotten As if l would.
Dammit, l was going to go off the deep end about the ridiculous amount of bullshit PR we are being inflicted with regarding the VERY LAST EPISODE EVER of Friends, but l'm fighting sleep like hell right now and if i try to bulldoze through with it anyway l'm going to botch it. lt'll have to wait. What the hell, you're all used to waiting on me by now, aren't you? God only knows why you put up with me...
a)l'm still able to push a mower in a straight line;
b)l managed to not make the yard look too awful;
c)The obnoxious neighbor next door isn't going to be bothering me about lettting him use his huge lawn tractor on my yard any more.
l never got around to seeing Mom on Sunday, but l have made it over to see her the last couple of nights. She's a little frustrated because she's in a huge hurry to come home, and she thinks won't be sent here for at least another week. She is being fed a solid food diet, but she said they'd probably put her back on the lV feed overnight. She wasn't able to eat much of the dinner they brought her tonight; she said she was feeling a little nauseated tonight. Food hasn't been of interest to her much these last few weeks, so l'm not surprised. She is able to walk a little, assisted, from her bed to the door of her room and back, which l'd guess to be about 40 feet, so she is making some progress in that area, but she is lonely for her children, and all she has is me right now since my siblings are either dead, incapacitated, or in another part of the country. That puts a lot of responsibility on me to make sure she hasn't been forgotten As if l would.
Dammit, l was going to go off the deep end about the ridiculous amount of bullshit PR we are being inflicted with regarding the VERY LAST EPISODE EVER of Friends, but l'm fighting sleep like hell right now and if i try to bulldoze through with it anyway l'm going to botch it. lt'll have to wait. What the hell, you're all used to waiting on me by now, aren't you? God only knows why you put up with me...
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Good morning, gentle readers. Hey, at least l wasn't as lazy this time getting a post up.
Mom has indeed been moved to a rehab facility in Grandview, which is much closer to home than the hospital was. l stayed with her for a hour last night watching the news and Wheel of Fortune with her. l always say that Vanna White gives the winning contestant on each night's show the answers to all the puzzles in exchange for certain services. Mom rolls her eyes and calls me disgusting, but she knows l'm just saying it to annoy her. She likes to complain when a contestant gets excited and start jumping up and down and yelling, as if she would never do any of that herself if she'd ever been a contestant. l say, sure, Mom, you'd just stand there all quiet and reserved, nothing but golf claps from you.
Wonder if l'll ever watch that show again...after.
Thursday l got the application into USDA. Still have to mail in copies of my tax returns, but that's ready to go. The bad thing is they'll be sending a form to Bob Jr, my bosshole at the Mausoleum, because they have to check everything for themselves. Given that his opinion of me--a low one, if he has an opinion of me at all--will be a factor in whether or not l manage to swing this, l have to say that my chances are much lesser than they appear on the surface.
Mom has indeed been moved to a rehab facility in Grandview, which is much closer to home than the hospital was. l stayed with her for a hour last night watching the news and Wheel of Fortune with her. l always say that Vanna White gives the winning contestant on each night's show the answers to all the puzzles in exchange for certain services. Mom rolls her eyes and calls me disgusting, but she knows l'm just saying it to annoy her. She likes to complain when a contestant gets excited and start jumping up and down and yelling, as if she would never do any of that herself if she'd ever been a contestant. l say, sure, Mom, you'd just stand there all quiet and reserved, nothing but golf claps from you.
Wonder if l'll ever watch that show again...after.
Thursday l got the application into USDA. Still have to mail in copies of my tax returns, but that's ready to go. The bad thing is they'll be sending a form to Bob Jr, my bosshole at the Mausoleum, because they have to check everything for themselves. Given that his opinion of me--a low one, if he has an opinion of me at all--will be a factor in whether or not l manage to swing this, l have to say that my chances are much lesser than they appear on the surface.
